Awhile ago I had a moment where I felt like I was in a dark place, and had hit the bottom. I go through seasons where my depression can affect me a little more, and I can feel helpless. At my lowest all I could do was ask Jesus to help me. But honestly, I didn't tell anyone about it.
Here's why I share this:
I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me, so please don't take it as that. I'm doing well. I share this only because it's human to go through times where we feel like we have hit bottom. These times should not make us feel guilt, isolation, and shame. It is something that needs to be dealt with. More people than we realize are going through dark places alone, and that's not how it should be. We need to let Jesus and other people into these places to bring the light in.
It took me a couple days, and it was hard, but I admitted my low point to a friend. Then a couple weeks after, as sad as this sounds, I finally told my husband. One of the first things he told me was, "you can share this kind of thing with me when you're struggling." And that is how it should be! Don't go through these things alone, even if it is the hardest thing you have to do, do it with someone you trust. Or seek out a counselor! You are so loved, you need a person to walk through this with you, whatever your darkest moment is.
I stand on the other side of my hard place telling you, you can get through it. Even if you are crawling, move forward somehow! Cry out to Jesus. He will help you. Let others in on your pain. There is healing in admitting it to others. Especially when you have any sort of negative or destructive thoughts. Speak it so it can be dealt with.
Finally, remember that Jesus is always with you. It has been such a comfort to me to know that I can talk to him whenever I need to. That he gives me strength when I need it, and will never fail me.
Don't go it alone. Please. You are loved. Bring others in on your pain.