Grief has always been something that I have associated with losing a loved one. It is a new thing for me that it might have a place in my every day life, and that going through the process of grieving might actually lead to me being more healthy spiritually and emotionally. It is not a comfortable thing, and it requires you to deal with the hard stuff. You have to sit in it, realize the loss, and process it before Jesus. It requires me to feel, which is something I am not very good at.
I would call myself a stuffer. If I am feeling something uncomfortable, I don’t like to deal with it. Its too hard. So what do I do? I ignore the fact that I am feeling what I am feeling, and I shove it deep down inside and pretend that it isn’t there. Phrases like “I’m fine” are very common for me. But there is only so much of that you can do. Eventually it does come back up to the surface, and not in ways that I am usually proud of. I either blow up at my loved ones, or it comes out as an irrational reaction to something small. Neither of these reactions are good for the people involved, or for me. Feelings get hurt, and regret is what I feel after acting the way I did. I need a change. A healthier way of dealing with hurt or loss.
I was listening to a podcast the other day, and the general message coming across to me was to be an emotionally healthy person, we need to be able to process what we are feeling. If these feelings are left unresolved, it can lead to unhealthy relationships, and I believe being an unhealthy emotional person in daily life as well.
When we experience a loss in our lives, whether a relationship, job, we have moved, had a major life change, etc.; we need to grieve. Its okay to feel the feelings that come along with the experience. Not that we stay in this place forever, but we allow ourselves to process through all that comes with the loss. This can be such a hard thing to do especially if you are someone like me who doesn’t like being emotional, or doesn’t like to feel.
Grieving doesn’t have to be done alone. We can share how we are doing with those we are close to, but mainly learning to share it with Jesus is the best. Jesus is always there, and he can handle all that comes with our processing. He can handle all the ugly, emotions, anger, sadness, and hurt that comes with it. And when we are done sharing it with him, I believe that is when the healing can begin. It may take some time, but he can take those hurting places that we have and mend them. He can make our heart whole again, and cover it in his loving hands until it is completely healed. That means we are going to have to trust him during the process too. But I promise that it will be worth it in the end.
Don’t be afraid of the process of grieving. If you do it with Jesus, you can get through it to the other side and not get stuck.